This week for my EMDR therapy session, I walked into it feeling nice and relaxed! I took care of my car registration, got my nails done, and was ready to go! For my previous session, I swiped my car while parking because I had so much anxiety. This time, I parked on the street and also allowed myself enough time for parking. Taking all of these steps allowed me to walk into the room feeling very confident and ready to begin therapy.
When my session first starts out, I start talking as if it were talk therapy. I filled my therapist in on what was happening in my life since the last time we saw each other. I also told her about the lows and what upset me that week. After we talked about the lows, we went into what factors were consistently lows for me. We also discussed my worst triggers and where to start.
My worst trigger and most consistent trigger is getting grabbed by the waist. Although I felt prepared for therapy, I had extreme anxiety prior to session when surrounded by people at the DMV. There was a male standing behind me that was also extremely triggering. Having this male standing behind me made me feel on edge! I started to cry and I tried to stay to the side of the line so he wouldn’t be directly behind me. In that moment it was hard to pull myself together! This is a trigger that affects my every day life, so I decided I needed to address this first with my therapist.
After talking about the trigger, my therapist decided it was time to begin the target process. She got out the buzzers and began the EMDR session. We began by going through my attack with John. We got to the part where John grabbed me by the waist, looked me in the eye and said, “Do you remember me?”. Right when it got to that part, my vision of the scene became INCREDIBLY clear! It was truly a wild experience! I was so taken aback that I lost my breath and felt frozen in the moment. As I tried to gather myself together, we began going through the memory where a drunk guy grabbed me by the waist at the bar. We went back and forth between the two memories to see similarities of the situations.
I cannot stress enough how intense this therapy session was for me due to the vivid memories of the attack. Near the end of the session, my therapist helped piece me back together, so I could go about my day feeling regulated. To piece me back together, my therapist encouraged me to bring in my wise figure, protecting figure, and nurturing figure into the scene of the incident. This technique was incredibly effective for me!
My therapist and I also thought of something that I can do after session to help associate therapy as something to look forward to. After my sessions, I now go to the fish store and get something for my fish tank. I used to have a fish tank and it was extremely relaxing. Salt water aquariums are a lot of work and always need something new, so it’s the perfect project me for to work on after session. I’m now looking forward to my next session so I can go back and get something new for my tank! I hope you enjoy my video talking more about my EMDR session! Till next week!
Xoxo Terra Newell